Everything in life is luck
by xHannahNicolex
Summary: It's after winter break senior year. Everyone is returning to Gallagher ready to begin, Only for Cammie to arrive with memory loss. Again. But more frequent this time... Set after OSOT Not GG6 . Disclaimer: I do not own the Character or anything else, Only the plot. All right's to Ally Carter.
1. Chapter 1

My Head.  
Oh it was pounding.  
It felt like someone was repeatedly crashing my head against a car door or something.

I travelled up the lane that I had travelled up many years before, not remembering what had happened the day before… Let alone pretty much anything from the whole winter. I looked up when I realised I wasn't fully walking; I was being sort of dragged. My feet were slowly being scuffed along the floor as I tried to steady myself, only to stumble and to fall back into the arms around me. I looked up to see the familiar green eyes look down at me as I moved my head. I wanted to smile but all a sudden, something creeping up in my neck overwhelmed me and I fell to the floor heaving.  
I could he him murmur 'Urgh… Not again' which made me believe that this wasn't the first time I was like this. He attempted to put his arms around me again to move me but failed as I heaved yet again.

That's when I heard them. The familiar voice's I know too well to be my mother and Joe Solomon.

"Zach! When we asked you to bring her here we thought you would have brought her at least half decent! Oh cammie dear"

My mom tried to comfort me only for me to heave… Yet again.  
"Zach, You can go in now. We will take it from here" My teacher's voice sounded more of an order than a suggestion.

"No, I found her like this. I am staying with her." Hearing Zach defending me made me want to smile, which also resulted in me feeling queasy, again.  
"Mom… Joe… I'm fine…" I couldn't believe the words had actually came out my mouth, and by the look of the people standing around me, they couldn't believe it either.

_Damn_

I must have been in a pretty bad state.  
That's when the music started to fill my head; _Boom boom boom da boom, boom boom boom da boom _Over and over again. It was excruciating. I had never heard the song before but I could tell it sounded like a club beat. Something you would he in Ibiza or Magaluf.

That made me think.

_(Note to self: Find out if whatever I had done to get in this state, involved clubbing in Ibiza or any other European country.)_

"You need to get her inside, Joe" The voice of the green eyed boy, known as Zach, snapped me out of my thoughts and I just lost all balance and strength and now instead of hovering on my hands and knees, I rolled onto my back looking up slowly closing my eyes, desperately trying to stop the banging.

"We will do now, Zach" Joe's voice sounded annoyed, disappointed and…. Even worried. That was never good.

I felt the world suddenly disappear from underneath me, like it has done twice before by the same person, Zach. When I opened my eyes to see him, I didn't even bother to try and smile. I couldn't even bare to think how unattractive it must look throwing up in front of the only boy in the whole school, who just so happens to shows interest in me. The chameleon. I had never understood that fact, only melted into it.

Whilst he carried me bridal style, I put my head into his shoulders, still trying to stop the world spinning and my head pounding.

That's probably why I never noticed myself slipping into darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Previously...**_

_Whilst he carried me bridal style, I put my head into his shoulders, still trying to stop the world spinning and my head pounding._

_That's probably why I never noticed myself slipping into darkness._

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly, only this time there was no light. It was dark. And I was in a room surrounded by three very familiar beds, with three very familiar people in them.

I attempted to sit up then thought better of it when my head felt like it was going to roll off my shoulders.

Bex must have sensed my attempt and awoken from whatever sleep she was in. A look of ignorance crossed her face, then surprise. She smiled at me sitting up and moving closer to me.

Her rich british accent spoke to me "Finally. Wondered when you were ever going to wake up. We all know Zach is bloody dreamy but we never realised when you look at him you pass out!" She let out a small weak laugh then faded out, probably noticing my unamused face.

"Seriously though… When was the last time you had a good washed?" She picked up the end of my hair with a disgust look on her face. I hadn't seen myself in the mirror yet, as far as I could remember, so I didn't know what I looked like.

I just shrugged then thought better of it when my arm throbbed. I looked over to see a bandage covering the top half of my arm. Bex must have noticed my confused look because she began to explain.

"Joe it on when you came here. You had a pretty nasty gash on it."

"Oh"  
My throat felt uncommon. The words felt like they raked up my throat, slowly scratching, leaving a tickly, spiky feeling. It made me burst into a coughing fit. Bex walked to the bathroom and came back with a glass of water.

"Now are you going to tell me what you have been doing over your whole holiday's, or do I have to guess?"

I thought over my answer. I remembered leaving for Nebraska at the end of the winter semester with Zach. But yet I couldn't remember much of being there. Dread filled my body, which I think bex caught on too, as I started searching my body for any cuts and bruises, any signs of torture. Any signs of the circle. You see, Last summer break, I ran away. I realise now it was a stupid move, but at the time I only thought about protecting other people… I never really thought about protecting myself. That's what lead me to be captured by the 'Circle Of Cavan' and tortured for the remainder of the summer and a few months after. Fortunately, I couldn't remember any of it when I woke up in a convent in the alps, but unfortunately, I couldn't remember anything at all of the summer, and I still don't. I only know things I managed to find out. I really hope this wasn't happening again.

"Don't worry if you can't remember. You look like you have a killer hangover anyway"

Hangover? As in, drinking alcohol hangover?

Well of course it meant that, but I mean, since when have I drank alcohol? And since when had I started getting drunk? I tried hard to remember but it just made my head throb even more making my gag. I was starting to feel sick again.

Bex sighed as she got a bucket and passed it too me. "As much as I love you cammie, you aren't messing up the room with your vomit." She laughed weakly then relaxed on her bed

I just held the bucket. Unsure if I was going to hurl. I don't know what overpowered me to ask, but I did anyway.

"Where did you find me?"  
"Zach found you in Roseville."  
"But I was in Nebraska with him"  
"Excatly"

It made no sense. How could I possibly get back to Roseville? I wasn't sure if I had spoken out loud when I heard the voice I love to hear answer.

"I have a good idea. Nice to see you at least half conscious, Gallagher Girl"

* * *

**A/N: I have now like 10 chapter's xD Sorry by the way if some of the things they say are a bit OOC or you don't understand them, i am trying my best to use american language not english xD Feel free to tell me what you think... I'm not sure if i should carry on with them...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I didn't want to ask, but I'm starting to lose interest in this because I'm not sure if it's any good, so if you could tell me if you like it or not i would love it :D Anyway, thank you for reading this chappy! :D**

* * *

_**Previously...**__  
It made no sense. How could I possibly get back to Roseville? I wasn't sure if I had spoken out loud when I heard the voice I love to hear answer._

"I have a good idea. Nice to see you at least half conscious, Gallagher Girl"

* * *

"Zach." I saw bex look over to Zach, only to give him a slight nod.

"How is she, bex?"  
"She's good, Not been sick again, but she's been gagging"  
The way they just ignored me made me feel like screaming '_Hello I am here… Just ask me…!' _But I somehow managed to stop myself from doing that.  
"Hmm… When I found her she wasn't doing much good either. She was totally out of it."  
"Did you find anything? Like any bottle's or…. You know…. Drugs" Bex said the D-word almost as a whisper. _They really thought I had been doing drugs?  
"_No… Luckily. Don't know what I would have done if I found her on drugs"  
"Where did you find her? I know you found her in Roseville, but where?"  
Zach sighs sadly then looked at me.  
"I found her sat outside that jimmy's house"

"It's Josh" I don't know where it came from, I don't know why that was the only thing I felt necessary to say, but I did anyway. I thought I better say something else before they start analysing me again.  
"And I have NOT been doing drugs OR drinking alcohol." I looked to Zach almost pleading "You should at least know my views on alcohol. They make people do stupid things"

Bex and zach just gave each other a look. It made me annoyed. They were keeping something from me. And things being kept from me usually did end well according to past experiences.

"Gallagher girl…" He trailed off, letting bex finish him.  
"You had alcohol on your breath. And a lot of it, Cam"

It made no sense. I had always had a distaste towards alcohol. I didn't agree with drinking it as it just weakens yourself, and everyone knows as a spy, you always need to be your strongest. I attempted to get up and to my surprise I stood, fairly steady as well.

Well until I moved and stumbled into Zach's arms.

He smirked. I have to admit, I have missed the smirk. "Whoa… Looks like your still clumsy though, Gallagher girl. Where do you think you're going?"

I noticed macey beginning to stir in her bed. That's when I realised the time. It was 6:23. Meaning if it was a weekday, which I was pretty sure it was, the girls would be getting up for school now.

"Zach, I need to get ready for school" I put on my best fake expression, making it look like my head didn't feel like it was going to explode.

He steadied me and let me go, nudging me towards the bathroom "Well I will leave you girls for now. See you all at breakfast."

Urgh. Breakfast. Somehow I could tell this was going to be a long day.

* * *

**A/N: BIG CHARACTER NEXT CHAPTER! :D One of my favourite character's too! Well, coming to think of it... There is two big character's next chapter... And I ship them like crazy! :D Please Review, follow whatever :P Just show me if you like or hate them :P**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Previously..._**  
"Zach, I need to get ready for school" I put on my best fake expression, making it look like my head didn't feel like it was going to explode.

He steadied me and let me go, nudging me towards the bathroom "Well I will leave you girls for now. See you all at breakfast."

Urgh. Breakfast. Somehow I could tell this was going to be a long day.

* * *

**ANNOUNCEMENT: Hey guys, sorry the chapter's are coming along a bit slow but I have loads of Zammie coming up, some unexpected visitors and lots of action :D Bare with me :P**

* * *

I had to admit it. I felt bad.  
I had got ready for breakfast, but I just decided against it and let the girls go without me. I told them I would stay in the room till they come back, but if you know me, you will understand I am not really the most truthful person ever. But what's a good spy if they don't lie a little?

I walked to the tapestry that held way too many memories.  
_Sneaking out for Josh.  
The Code Black with Zach._  
_Apparently where I left last summer._

Yet, I didn't think of the consequence's all these memories ended in as I started to move the tapestry aside only to feel a hand grab my wrist.

"What happened to breakfast?"

I tried to pull my wrist away and continue to slip away, but the grasp stayed firm, but still gentle so it didn't hurt me.

"I thought we had this discussion, Gallagher girls. It's closed off anyway."

I turned looking to the now blank hard wall blocking off the passageway. I wondered if they were ever going to re-open the passageways in Gallagher, Or had I ruined every other little Gallagher girls chance of finding them and going on countless adventures.

_Then again… It's probably for the best.  
_  
Whilst I was thinking, I was unaware of Zach pulling me away from the tapestry and into his arms.

"You're not very talkative are you?"  
"Sorry…" My voice cracked but I hoped Zach didn't hear… But of course he did. He's as good a spy as me… If not better.  
"Don't be sorry. I missed you over the holiday's, and I didn't appreciate you running off" His expression turns from the famous Zach Goode smirk to sadness. I then realised I had hurt him again disappearing like I did last summer.  
_Well done, Cammie._

In my defence though, I don't actually remembering disappearing. I only got told this morning whilst I was getting ready how Zach rung my mom in the 2 weeks before the end of the holiday's, panicking because I had disappeared in the night.

"I'm sorry, Zach. I know I have said it before but I swe-" He cut me off.  
"You swear you won't run off again… I know cammie, You said that before winter break"

I couldn't help myself. I officially hated myself. I have a boy, who is gorgeous, care's so much for me and even picked me over his own mother, (even though she was pretty evil) and I go hurting him. He let go of me putting his hand's in his pockets and gestured to the corridor leading to cove-ops.

"Come on… You don't want to be late to your first CoveOp's class of your last semester"

I followed him and we began to talk about what we thought we would learn seen as it is our LAST SEMESTER EVER at the Gallagher academy. After this semester we would be going off to CIA or FBI or whatever other job we will pick. I hadn't yet discussed this with Zach yet… But to be honest, I didn't want to talk about how difficult it would be to see him.

We walked continuously talking till we got to the CoveOp's mirror-slash-elevator and saw Bex waiting. I smiled at her, realising in the process of me going to the tapestry and getting stopped by Zach that my headache had disappeared. We made our way into the CoveOp's class and took our seat's. Joe Solomon, or I should call him Mr Solomon still wasn't teaching for obvious reason's Including that he is meant to be dead, but I was still surprised to see my Aunt Abby still at the academy, and still teaching CoveOp's.

"Today class we will be learning about our futures"  
_  
Wait, Didn't I just say I didn't want to talk about this?_

"It is important to think about what you want to do after Gallagher. Especially when you are now in your final semester!" Some of my classmates cheered, I however kept silent looking down, realising what leaving meant. It meant leaving memories. Good and bad.

"Obviously there are many choices. You can always decide you don't want to pursue your career as an agent and be something else, but I know some of you will want to put your training into a career."

I had always thought if I wanted to be something else… And for some reason, with that thought my headaches came back. I rubbed my temples as the thudding in my head started making me feel sick. I noticed Zach look at me and mouth 'Are you okay?' But I just nodded and tried to act natural. It was hard.

"For what you have been trained, or I should say what you have learnt to do, can result in many exclusive jobs. You can join the FBI maybe, the CIA like me and even the MI6 for some people" Abby shot a quick glance to Bex then continued.

"For example, Edward Townsend is part of the MI6, which as you probably know, is the English version of the CIA" Aunt Abby looked over me and towards the entrance to sub-level 3, Smiling widely, I turned my head following her gaze and couldn't believe who was standing there. Or the fact that Aunt Abby was smiling at him.

"Only, we are far more advanced"


	5. Chapter 5

**_Previously..._**

_"For example, Edward Townsend is part of the MI6, which as you probably know, is the English version of the CIA" Aunt Abby looked over me and towards the entrance to sub-level 3, Smiling widely, I turned my head following her gaze and couldn't believe who was standing there. Or the fact that Aunt Abby was smiling at him._

_"Only, we are far more advanced"_

* * *

Oh my gosh.  
Yes.  
The most arrogant, cocky, self-obsessed, English man stood at the back of the room.

_Smiling back at aunt abby._

I'm pretty sure the world stopped moving for that moment. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one feeling that way too. I turned back around looking to Bex who was shocked. For starters, for the fact that he had come back to the academy, willingly (well as far as we know, he wasn't sent on a specific mission) and was showing a sign of emotion towards my aunt. As he spoke, I noticed some of my classmates drool at his accent like they did the year before, I held back my laugh as I saw Zach role his eyes turning back round to face the board. I realised, yet again, my mind was now clear from the banging pain, but was now filled with questions.

_Why was he here?  
Was he here because of the circle?  
Why didn't mom mention him in assembly?  
Why was Aunt Abby, the woman who non-stopped argued with him to Rome last summer, smiling at him?  
And why on earth was he smiling back?_ Like seriously. I truly thought he was empty.  
My aunts voice broke my thoughts.

"You can think that if you like, Edward"

Wait. Did she just call him Edward? _Why does she call him Edward now? _

"It's Townsend in front of the kids, Abby"

"Oh shush Townsend before I think about sending you back to London"

Okay. My mind is now blown. _Aunt Abby invited him here?!_

_"You can try" He then smiled at my aunt Abby and winked. Like full on wink-age. Was he…  
No. I was pretty sure by this moment that he was… flirting? And Aunt Abby was flirting back! By now I had developed a new kind of thudding in my head._

"Class, Edwa-"She stopped herself smiling at Townsend "Townsend, will be joining us in CoveOp's for quite a bit this year… But don't worry, you will still have me. No need to worry about Townsend teaching you nothing…" I'm pretty sure if my aunt said anything else I wasn't listening. I just couldn't get over the fact that aunt Abby had invited Townsend over from England to teach CoveOp's with her. He couldn't teach a pack of rats! (And they are very easy to train as well, let me tell you)  
Whatever was going on, I didn't understand.  
And I don't like not understanding things.

* * *

**A/N: I am a major Tabby (townsend and abby) Shipper! I know alot of people are joeby (or whatever you call joe and abby) shipper's, but personally I think if Joe ends up with anyone, it will be Rachel. Mainly because I can tell Townsend and Abby are in love (just by the way they act in the books!) and that Rachel cares deeply for Joe.**

**_And also in an interview, ally said that abby was just joking around with joe...  
And that someone who loves someone is who stays with them by their bed...  
_****Just sayin.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Previously...**_

_I'm pretty sure if my aunt said anything else I wasn't listening. I just couldn't get over the fact that aunt Abby had invited Townsend over from England to teach CoveOp's with her. He couldn't teach a pack of rats! (And they are very easy to train as well, let me tell you)  
Whatever was going on, I didn't understand.  
And I don't like not understanding things._

* * *

__I was sat on my bed feeling dizzy. The sickness and headache from before had come back, and with a vengeance. I now had a fever too.  
We were all talking about our CoveOp's class and what we want to do after Gallagher.  
Bex mentioned about her following in her parent's footsteps and becoming a MI6 agent. Macey wasn't sure if she wanted to be in the disguises department of the CIA, a job which personally, I thought would suit her very well. Liz most obviously wanted to be in the technical side, but when they came to ask me, I had something else on my mind.

"Was it just me…. Or was Townsend flirting with my aunt?" I paused as my head throbbed even more as I tried to figure out what I had saw in the CoveOp's class.

"You can't just say Townsend was flirting, Cammie. Abby was definitely flirting back too. But I don't blame her. He is pretty damn hot."

After hearing macey, I felt another pain but this time not at my forehead but at my gut. I lept up from my bed and ran to the bathroom leaning over the toilet heaving.

"Oh…. She's being sick in the loo again, guys. I am not cleaning it up."

I found myself sitting over the toilet for about an hour before I finally lent back on the bathroom wall, leaning my head back with beads of sweat dripping down my face. I felt like my body was literally burning up from the inside out. I didn't blame my friends when they started mentioning the teachers.  
"Should we go get abby, cammie?!"  
"Stop panicking Liz, We can't get Abby… like macey said, Townsend would follow since they are like a thing now"  
"I didn't say that Bex. I just said, it is most likely they are flirting with each other. No, I think we should go get Zach. At least he can comfort her as well as not worrying her."

No matter how much I tried to shake my head they just ignored me. I don't know how I managed it without hurling, but I spoke just a small bit.

"No… No… I don't want… Him to see… like this… Not Za-…"  
Before I could finish, I noticed macey had been gone and had now just walked in the room with Zach. She's meant to know the most about boys, yet she doesn't know that a girl NEVER wants to be seen around a boy ill. Even if we aren't officially a thing or not…. Even though I like to think we are.

"Hey Gallagher girl" He spoke softly and calmly when he walked over to me kneeling beside me. I have to admit, his voice did calm me a bit.

"How long has she been like this, macey?"

"2 hours now… She was like this when you first brought her back, but I assure you, she has been nowhere near alcohol as far as I can tell"

Again with the alcohol. I still stand by my statement that I have never been drunk. Especially to the point where after 2 days I am still sat on the floor of my dorm bathroom shaking with a fever, throwing up all whilst THE Zachary Goode is hovering over me looking after me.

"Damn… I think you should tell her mom. It's still unknown where she was over winter, her mom's still is trying to find that out anyway, She needs to know cammie is ill. It may help her find something out"

Hearing that Zach even thought my mom should know didn't help. I was pretty sure I didn't want to see myself right now…

"I tried speaking to her before, Cammie was screaming last night and I thought I should tell her mom, only she said she was busy"

_What else could they possibly be keeping from me?_

"We need to go get Abby"

"NO!" I don't know where it came from but it did. And it made everyone stop and look at me, waiting for me to carry on. I sighed and opened my month to try and talk.

"I don't need my mom… I don't need aunt Abby, I am fine. It's only been 2 days since I came home ill. It might just be a sickness bug"

Bex, Liz and Macey looked at each other confused, Zach just kept his eyes focused on me as he said softly, "It's been a week since you came back, Gallagher Girl"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if you can't already tell, I love cliffhangers :D Well as long as the cliffhanger's aren't to me reading, but I love doing them to other people.**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Previously...**_

_"NO!" I don't know where it came from but it did. And it made everyone stop and look at me, waiting for me to carry on. I sighed and opened my month to try and talk._

"I don't need my mom… I don't need aunt Abby, I am fine. It's only been 2 days since I came home ill. It might just be a sickness bug"

Bex, Liz and Macey looked at each other confused, Zach just kept his eyes focused on me as he said softly, "It's been a week since you came back, Gallagher Girl"

* * *

_Oh so great, Now memory loss?_

Well I had already forgotten what I did most of my winter, but I wasn't too bothered about that at the moment… I was more bothered that I couldn't remember this week! But of course I did… I remember CoveOp's today… Even though according to macey, today is Sunday, and CoveOp's was Thursday… Meaning I don't remember Friday and Saturday, not to mention the days before Thursday. Man, my mind really was messed up.

"Cammie, can I ask you something?"

The fact that Zach used my real name instead of Gallagher girl let me know it was important whatever he wanted to ask me. We walked into the library on the Monday morning (and it definitely was Monday, I checked with Bex) when he asked me this question. I nodded of course.

"Are you sure you haven't been drinking… You can tell me if you have? I don't mind" He held my hands looking into my eyes. First rage coursed through me at the fact that he didn't believe me the first time I told him I hadn't been drinking, then I realised he was only asking me because he was just looking out for me.

"Zach, I promise you I haven't. Plus there is no-where to get alcohol in the school"

Zach gave me a strange look like he thought I knew something I obviously didn't.

"What, Zach?"  
"Nothing Cam"  
"Zachary"  
"Cameron"  
"I'm serious, Zach. Please tell me"

He sighed then finally gave in "Dr. Fibs had some alcohol in his cabinet in his room and 2 bottles have went missing."

I took my hand's away from him, Hurt and annoyed. "And you think I took them? Unbelievable. Just because I feel a bit ill-…"  
"Cammie! When you came back to the academy you stunk of whiskey. You left me in Nebraska with your grandparents for 2 weeks before we were due to come back and then I find you outside of josh's house when I got back!"  
I felt the tears fill my eyes, but refused to let them fall. I just pushed past Zach and started to make my way toward my dorm room.

::

All I can remember is opening my eyes and being in his lap. His green eyes boring into me.  
_When on earth did this happen?_

I was laid in his lap… In my mother's office. I lifted myself up, removing myself from Zach's lap and looked around.

"Why am I in here?"  
Zach just looked at me. He looked disappointed and worried… for me? It made no sense so I asked again, this time more angrily.  
"Zach, Why am I here?!"  
The next thing hurt. He looked away, disgusted in me. Running his hand through his hair. I grabbed his arm stopping him.  
"Answer me, Zach!"

"You were passed out in your dorm from drink!"  
"How would you know it's from drink?"  
"Well you were laughing constantly, acting like an idiot and you stink. Not to mention the bottle for Dr. Fibs office found next to you."  
Everything he said, was with a hint of disgust in his tone. Everything he said, left a hint of hurt on me. I looked down at my hands then felt it. The headache again. I really didn't know what was going on.

I began sobbing without control "What day is it?"  
"Friday"  
I had missed day's again… _What was happening?_

I felt my head fall into my hands.

It felt strange. I had the worst headache-slash-migraine ever, felt like throwing up constantly, felt confused and annoyed at myself for leaving Zach again… Yet I felt numb.

Right then, when my head fell into my hands, I went numb. I felt nothing.  
_Nada_.

It felt nice. Relaxing. Like I didn't have to care anymore. I felt free. I had no feelings. Never thought about Zach who was now saying my name over and over again. Never wondered where my roommate's where. Never even cared that I didn't know why I was in my mother's office.  
I lifted my head up to see Zach gone. I never even felt the couch we were both sat on move as he got up. I never heard the door shut as he walked out.  
_That was how out of it I was._

I didn't know what was going on, and why I was like this. But for some reason, I didn't want to know. It was like as if I did already know, only I was hiding it from myself. That was why I lifted myself up and walked out the office. I walked outside in the pouring rain and made my way to the P&E barn which was now empty.

I opened the large door's whilst I entered. My wet drowned shoes making squeaking noises against the dry floor. My hair dripping on the floor. I crossed my arms and went and lay in the middle of the barn, looking up through the skylight to the moon. By this time I was shaking, but I didn't care.

I let myself shiver and I let myself drift off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: I now know where I am going with this! Haha, I already had a brief idea but wasn't sure of how to get there. I'm trying to finish this now though before I go back to school as I have another story plot in my head that is Non-Spy.**

And this is the last chapter i shall upload today :P I have been uploading about 3 a day so far haha :P That's why i am on chapter six when i started writing them yesterday! Anyway you will be very surprised what you will find out in the next chapter as she start's to investigate where she was :D


	8. Chapter 8

_**Previously...**_

_I opened the large door's whilst I entered. My wet drowned shoes making squeaking noises against the dry floor. My hair dripping on the floor. I crossed my arms and went and lay in the middle of the barn, looking up through the skylight to the moon. By this time I was shaking, but I didn't care. I let myself shiver and I let myself drift off to sleep._

* * *

I woke up leaning against something hard, yet soft. It felt strangely familiar and reminded me of a time the year before when I leant against something similar… Whilst they told me how they went crazy over trying to find me. I was reasonably dry and had two towels wrapped around me and then I noticed it. A arm?

The reason why everything felt so familiar, was because it was familiar. I was leant agains Zach Goode in the P&E barn like I did the year before, only this time it was different.

He looked at me like he never knew who I was. Like I was a stranger. Like everyone had looked at me after arriving at the academy from the convent.

"Hey" I had to break the silence… I just hope he replied…  
"Good Morning, Gallagher girl"  
"Why are you here?"  
"Didn't want you freezing to death overnight, did I"  
"How did you know I was in here?"

As soon as I asked the question I waited for the cocky 'Spy' quote, but it didn't come.

"You never returned to your room so I came looking for you"

Well that would explain why his hair was damp and scruffy, but in all the right places. I asked him the question I was dreading to hear the answer to.

"what day is it?"  
"Saturday. Do you remember yesterday? In your mom's office after being found drinking?"

I thought before I answered. "I remember waking up in the office, but I don't remember how I got there."  
"Well, that can just be because of the drink anyway"

I took a breath then asked him the question I knew the answer too deep down. "Was I really drinking?"  
"Yeah…"  
"I don't remember though?"

He just shrugged then helped me up.  
"Come on, everyone will be looking for you, Gallagher girl"

**::**

I watched him. Being the only boy in the history of the Gallagher Academy, he was a big deal.  
Especially to a bunch of teenage girls who never got the chance to interact with boys during school time.

I noticed how all the junior's had their eyes on him. Even though they were younger, a lot of them looked older and far prettier than me.  
_It worries me how they look at Zach._

Luckily I don't think he knows how they look at him; otherwise he knows how to act like he doesn't.

He was speaking to Bex, Liz and Macey about something, I couldn't hear from the entrance to the grand hall so I started to walk over to my seat next to Zach. I saw macey's worried but excited face. I was almost certain they were talking about getting Preston.

"Ah, she finally joins us!"  
"Sorry I didn't feel too good" I replied honestly. I actually didn't feel well, but I never seemed to feel normal nowadays…  
"It's cool, Anyway what were you and Zach doing in the P&E barn on Saturday?"  
Zach just looked at her "Bex, I do believe that is none of your business" He smirked his 'I-know-something-you-don't' Smirk.  
"I was only checking that you didn't hurt her feelings or something, she has been ignoring us for 2 days."

_Oh for goodness sakes._

"Wait, How have I been ignoring you for 2 days?"  
"Well you just stayed in the room refusing to do anything. Mrs. Morgan told us to just leave you for now."  
"What day is it?"  
"Tuesday"

I hated it. Truly hated not being able to remember isolating myself from my friends. I walked away from them at the table and walked towards my room, I could hear the steps behind me following me, but I didn't mind.

"They are worried about you, you know"  
Macey. To be honest I thought it was Zach, I can't tell her though that I'd mistaken her footprints for Zach's, She wouldn't be too pleased. I walked into the room turning on my laptop and searching.  
"What are you doing, cammie?"  
"I'm finding out why the hell I am blocking out my memory all the time. It's frustrating!"  
"But-"  
"But nothing. I disappeared from Nebraska and don't remember it. I ended up in my mom's office the other day after supposedly drinking alcohol. I've missed two pointless days again. It just doesn't make sense. I'm starting to think that then 2 week's I went missing was just a longer version of what is happening now"

After my rant I found myself slamming on the keys looking through every single document and site visited. I had taken my laptop with me to Nebraska and I just had to hope that I hadn't deleted everything. It felt weird not knowing what I had done, again. Felt like I was a different summer at the end of winter.

_Oh that's good, now there is a summer me, a winter me and then just me._

I found booking ticket for Roseville on the date that I had disappeared from the ranch. _So I had come straight here? Then where was I whilst I was here?_

I noticed macey move uncomfortably beside me. When I looked at her I could tell she was hiding something from me.

"What? What is it?"  
Silence.  
"Don't keep anything from me macey!"  
"Okay… Well Mrs Morgan and Mr Solomon already found out you came to Roseville. Your passport was used at the airport and there is CCTV footage showing you getting a taxi. We traced the number plate and it arrived at Roseville."  
"Do they not know the placed it arrived at? Street? Anything?"  
She looked at me sympathetically but I waited for her answer.  
"It went down North Bellis Street where it stopped for about 10 minutes"

North bellis street. Only one person I know lives there. _But why would I go to him?  
Why would I go back to my ex?_

* * *

**A/N: I have nothing to say really... :3 Only I'm a terrible writer xD Sorry, also sorry for leaving it so long :P My internet went kaput! :P  
Please review by the way, it gives me more courage to write, even though at the moment I am just writing purely because I love it :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**First off...**

**I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!**  
**I have plenty of chapter's to update at least once a night, only something has happened in my real life causing me to not be on my computer much... But However, From Saturday, I will be updating maybe every week? I'm trying my best not to drag out the story and make it sound like GG5 but yet sound like GG6 could still happen... :D**

**_But that's where i need your help..._**  
**_Should I..._**  
**A)** Make it so GG6 could happen after this (Don't kill anyone or do anything drastic?)  
**B)** End it... Like everything :P (Feel free to kill people within reason and end the plot my way?)  
**C)** Another way?  
Tell me in the** REVIEWS** Please :D I could really use the help :P

* * *

_**Previously..**_**.**

North bellis street. Only one person down there. _But why would I go to him?  
Why would I go back to my ex?_

* * *

I didn't care what Macey and Bex were now both shouting at me as I was shoving past them to the entrance of the school. No-one could stop me. I was going to find out what was going on and that was that. Well, So I thought till I got to the foyer and my feet left the ground.  
I felt the squeeze round my waist and looked down to see the firm arms wrapping around me and lifting me up.

"You're not going anywhere, Gallagher Girl"  
"Get off me, Zach!" I began to struggle in his arms, trying to kick him, but he only held me higher and tighter so my legs could no longer touch him.

I just carried on trying to kick and hit him, but he just held my arms up and my legs further away trying to shush me.

The world slowed down and I thought through what I was doing. I wasn't going anywhere, and I knew it. I gave in, stopping and just latching onto Zach's shirt panting. I felt weak. _I felt like I did after summer…_

"I need to know where I was… What… What If something bad happened… Like summer…"

He cut me off "You can't think like that cammie, Plus it doesn't seem as bad as summer because no-one has giving you memory loss drugs. So whatever you have… It's probably" He paused while his eyes studied me for a reaction "something mental"

_Great! So the one person I felt I could completely trust…. Thinks I'm mental._

"But… Why?" I couldn't think of a reason I was losing my memory… I couldn't think of anything right then. My mind was blank.

"We need to go to Josh's, Zach. If I was there, I need to know why"  
"Gallagher girl…"  
"Don't 'Gallagher Girl' me, Zach. I am going and you holding me-" I pulled away from him abruptly and watched his face turn nonchalant "-Won't work!"  
Bex interrupted the argument "She does have a point, Zach. He might have something to do with it"

_Why would they think that Josh would do something to hurt me? My first boyfriend… My first kiss…  
_Till then, I had forgotten all about him… I had Zach and I guess that made me forget him. That is probably why I couldn't help but snap.

"He won't have anything to do with this! Why the hell would you think that?!"  
Zach looked to me before speaking "Because-.."  
I cut him off sourly and brutally "Don't you DARE say anything just because you have all this overprotective jealousy thing!"

He just stood there, Studying me, before raising his hands in surrender and walking away down the corridor. Macey was now the one to lecture me.

"Because, Cam, by now you should know, Not everything is how it seems."

That's when I saw the upset in her eyes. Here I was being selfish defending someone I hadn't spoken to in over a year or two and shouting at the people who care most about me, when the person she cares deeply for could potentially be in the Circle. I remembered how we found that Samuel Winter's was on the list of the Circle names; how the first thing she thought of was getting Preston and hoping that he wasn't in the Circle too.

_Nothing is never as it seems… I learnt that over the past year…_

I looked down the corridor to Zach walking away before speaking "I'm sorry… Just…" I couldn't finished when I saw Zach disappearing round a corner.

"Cam, we have to suspect the worst to avoid disappointment."

My mom and Joe then both came down the staircase and into the foyer. Joe gave a look to my mom before then turning to me.

"You can't leave the academy on your own… It isn't even safe for you to go out at all, but we have to admit, we do need you to come with us. He most likely wouldn't trust us like he would you, especially if he thinks you remember everything that you don't."

"Thank you, Joe" I turned to the door before Bex laughed, making me turn.  
"Cam, If you haven't noticed, your still in your uniform… Probably not best for you to go out in it, could draw attention"

I looked to my best friend and smiles walking back up to my room with her to get changed. As soon as I got in the room Macey locked the door, Bex dragged me over to the bed and Liz just stood by looking hopeless.

"Right, Cam. We need you to wear a few bugs for our privilege. We need to hear everything you hear because I highly doubt Joe and Ms Morgan will be so open with it."  
"You can't expect me to wear two sets of bugs, bex. They will cause static making both of them unable to function" I said it in more of a 'Duh' tone before Liz countered me.  
"Actually, I have corrected the frequency so they won't cause static to either of them" She smiled proudly and I just sighed in defeat.

I let them suit me up with bugs and got changed making me ready to go and walked over to the room door to walk to the foyer. Macey spun me around and kept her hands on both of my shoulder's looking at me sternly.

"Don't be so hard on him, Cam. He cares a lot about you and you don't seem to see it."  
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I wasn't sure who she was talking about.

_Joe? Josh?… Zach._

"Don't give me that look. You know exactly who I am talking about. Don't snap on him. He's just trying to keep you safe. It killed him when you found out what happened last summer"  
"It killed me too!" I sighed realising I sounded like an ungrateful child "It's just… I don't want him getting hurt, and I don't know what happened with me and Josh…"  
"How do you know anything happened, Cam? It could just be a coincidence"  
Bex walked through both of us opening the door "I said it myself, 'Maybe there are no coincidences'"

She walked out the room and me and Macey followed.  
We were finally going to find out where I had been!

_How come this sounds familiar?..._


	10. Chapter 10 & UPDATE!

_**Previously...  
**_

_We were finally going to find out where I had been!_

_How come this sounds familiar?..._

* * *

We pulled up. At the house where my first ever boyfriend lives.

Where the first 'Subject' of my first little mission lives.

It couldn't get any more awkward than my current situation though. My mom and Joe had gone in a separate car and I was in a different car with Aunt Abby, Townsend and Zach. They dropped me off and drove a few houses up before parking and I was sure they were watching me.

_Of course they were watching me…_

I walked up to the house and… Couldn't help but feel normal? I mean, I should have felt strange, and unnatural, like I had to put a cover on, but I didn't? I felt like myself… Or well, what my current self was…

I took my hand up in a fist and banged it three times on the glass window in the wooden door. It took exactly 13.5 seconds for a familiar face to open the door.

I'm not sure what I was more shocked at.  
The fact that I had actually been able to time it in this current state or the fact that the feeling of hurt or guilt or whatever it was I would feel around Josh, didn't come.  
_Nada.  
Nothing at all._  
If anything I felt… Comfotable?

"Cammie! Oh it's good to see you! I don't believe you left me like that!" He pulled me into a hug which I thought was strange…

You can bet your lucky stars I was extremely surprised when he pulled back from the hug and put his lips to mine.

At first, I was so shocked I just looked ahead and didn't know what to do.  
_  
My ex-boyfriend was currently kissing me!  
Whilst my current kind-of-boyfriend was watching across the street!_

After at least I think 23 seconds I quickly stood back.

_I felt bad it had took me that long, but I was TOTALLY took off guard by it!_

"You should come in" He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back slightly. As I walked into the house I saw the main TV on, the music blaring from a film I had never seen yet somehow knew the name was 'Project X'. I also knew the current song playing was the main tune, 'Pursuit of happiness'.  
_It scared me that I knew this…_

"I have missed you so much! You scared me when you never came back"  
Even though he said he was scared, when analysing his face, I couldn't see even a HINT of any freight.

"So… Where did you go for over 2 weeks? I mean, You seemed pretty cool staying here…"

Well that was a question answered then_… I think._  
As long as he wasn't lying, It means I had been staying here… _Oh no._

"Erm… Oh yeah sorry, I had some… Unfinished business" My lying skills weren't as good as they were, only I don't think Josh would have noticed.

"Oh…" He gave me a weak smile then began walking upstairs "Surprised you weren't found in a ditch too be honest somewhere by police…" His voice didn't sound like he cared when he said that… and I have to admit, _It did hurt._ Because I know I would care if he was found in a ditch because even though he isn't my boyfriend anymore, I will still care about him…_ A bit. _"Well, You have been off the drink right? Don't think I can smell it on you now…"_  
_  
I had to analyse him. Again. I couldn't tell anything at the moment. For all I know he could have been the one with the drink… _No, He couldn't._  
But he could have something to do with it… _No, He couldn't._  
Or he could have something to do with my disappearance… _No, He couldn't._  
_Well, At least I think he couldn't…_

As I followed him upstairs to his room, I couldn't stop the banging of my head again. The throbbing. My knee's grew weak for a change though, and this time, I could feel myself going… and I could see the blur of the red-haired woman's smirk and say "Aw, It will be okay sweetheart"

* * *

I have a few things to say in this little update. First of all, Thank you for reading the story anyway and secondly, I am** SO** sorry for no updates for god knows how long!  
I had started my final GCSE's (Senior Exams) and I totally forgot everything!  
I have 2 more weeks left then thats it! I am done!  
Finished  
**_Finite!_**

**So till then, I can't post a chapter! But after that, I guarantee 5 chapter's in that week then 2 chapters a week afterward! :D**

I have a **kindle**now too so it will be easier to write stories!

This one will be finished first before I start my two new ones I have planned:

_What if everything was normal..._

and

_(Not yet titled) Story about the kids and their kids in 15 years time._

Thank you for bearing with me anyway! :D


	11. Chapter 11

_**Previously...**_  
_**i could feel myself going... and i could see the blur of the red-haired woman's smirk and say "Aw, It will be okay sweetheart**_"

* * *

I had to get away.  
I cant let her near me.  
After everything that happened in ireland, I only know one thing for sure; she wants me dead.

I began kicking and lashing my arms widely whilst on the floor, only not even scraping her as she moved close. As much a I tried I just couldn't hit her.

It was if she was invisable.  
_No._  
As if she wasnt there.

I had to focus.  
Stop panicking and just focus.  
Notice things.. then everything would come into perspective.  
_And oh did it.._.

Not only was there no woman that I know well as Catherine, Josh was looking at me worridly. But the knowing worridly.  
As if this had happened before.

I breathed heavily, catching my breathe an looked to josh, my cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

"I am so sorry... I dont know-.." before i could finish, he interrupted me, confimring what i feared...  
"You saw Catherine again, right? She not here... dont worry."

_Josh knows_.

* * *

**Short chapter, I KNOW! Good news is, i'm back! i have three chapters in advance on my kindle which is what i am using now ;**)


	12. Chapter 12

_**Previously...**_  
_**"I am so sorry... I dont know-.." before i could finish, he interrupted me, confirming what i feared...**_  
_**"You saw Catherine again, right? She's not here... don't worry."**_

_**Josh knows**_.

* * *

My first response was to lie.  
"Catherine? Who?"  
Only as I mentioned before, I wasn't being a very good liar right now and unfortunately, Josh noticed.

"Circle of Cavan Catherine... that dude Zach or whatever's mom..."

My heart physically stopped.  
I had to headcount what I know he knows.  
He knows Catherine somehow.  
He knows she is in the circle.  
He KNOWS the circle.  
He know Catherine is Zachs mom...  
Then it hit me  
_He remembers.._.

He must remember everything I told him that summer. The tea must have worn off like the CIA feared.  
How he knows about the circle however when originally I never knew, I don't know.

"Oh... how do you-..." he cut me off again, which may I add, is EXTREMELY annoying.

"You told me...? In summer? After her coming? Do you not remember?"  
Now I can finally see the confusion.  
It's the first thing he has said where he ACTUALLY shown any emotion.  
Whatsoever.

"To be truthful, no"  
And now I am telling a citizen who could be a potential threat as I highly doubt he has the clearance to know what small information I already know he knows, the truth.  
There is one thing about this business you should never do, and that is trust people who you know you shouldn't.  
_I seem to be doing that a lot lately however.._.

"The drink must have got to you... so you don't remember anything? At all?"  
I paused and didn't answer, I just shook my head slowly.  
Trying to remember, trying to force myself to regain my memory.  
But it was the same as the summer, it just didn't work.

"We can talk about it then... I'll help. It's a shame because we did so much!"  
That's when his hand moved.  
Not just his hand, his arms.  
And his fingers.  
As he moved them all to my hand, grasping it an pulling me into his bedroom.  
"It's going to takes a while though... but it will be worth it..."  
I just smiled softly while inside I just had an urge to knock him out and run.  
_Which is nothing like me.._.

He then turns his head looking at me. He showed a betrayed expression and sort of hurt as he watched me.  
"You should come back a different time... you know, when you can actually trust me to come on your own and not with your stupid back up"  
I don't know how he knew but it scared me.  
He sounded like a spy.  
_Was he a spy_?

I just looked away and nodded.  
Trust today to be the day for me to have nothing to say.

"An tell your little boyfriend over your communication unit that he doesn't need to see me as a threat... or you know, get jealous."

This wasn't Josh.  
This was an arrogant know it all.  
A bit how I saw Zach at first, only without the attraction.  
"He won't get jealous and he won't see you as a threat, if he did, he would be In here by now."  
I then turned walking down the stairs to the door, Josh following me and when I opened it, there stood Zach and Townsend. Both stood identical to each other and sharing the same blank expression.  
I pushed through them both walking to the car, not turning round to see if they followed or what they did.

"You know, I am really interested in knowing how he knows about everything."  
I was lost In thought by the time I heard Zach as he was climbing into the back of the car.  
I also got offended by the way he said why he said and turned my head and snapped.

"Yeah, so would I but it seems your mom likes making my life a living hell."  
The silence from then on was painful.  
He didn't bother replying when I just turned looking out the window realizing what I just said.  
I wanted to apologize but I couldn't.  
I don't know why, I just couldn't.  
He never looked at me the whole time we drove back to Gallagher and when we pulled up outside he got out and walked inside ignoring me.  
I just stood in the entrance watching him go upstairs taking two steps at a time, sighing and rubbing his forehead.  
I couldn't help but feel terrible.  
I had just pushed the one person who I trusted the most away.  
And I couldn't even stop myself from doing it.


End file.
